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}} Durkon discovers he's a father. Cast * The Order of the Stick ** Belkar Bitterleaf ◀ ▶ ** Vaarsuvius ◀ ▶ ** Durkon Thundershield (also as vampire and as spirit) ◀ ▶ * Mr. Scruffy ◀ ▶ * "Durkon" ◀ ▶ * Hilgya Firehelm ◀ ▶ * Kudzu ◀ ▶ * Creed of the Stone Vampire with Long Hair ◀ ▶ * Vampire Dwarf with Red Ponytail ◀ ▶ * Vampire Dwarf with Gray Beard ◀ ▶ * Vampire Dwarf with Blue Curly Hair ◀ ▶ * Vampire Dwarf with Ponytail and Cap ◀ ▶ Transcript CotS Vampire with Long Hair: What the Boss was that? Vampire Dwarf with Red Ponytail: Unnnhhh... "Durkon": Divine fire. They must have another cleric. Vampire Dwarf with Blue Curly Hair: Yes, I see her Master! In the back! Cut to inside Durkon's head. "Durkon": Whoa, is that who I think it is? Durkon: Who? Izzit someone I know? "Durkon": I literally don't know anyone you haven't met, so yes, obviously. "Durkon": Take a look for yourself. Cut back to the fight. Belkar: Hey Ears, I guess Hilgya's boom is just bigger than yours. Vaarsuvius: That would be expected, given that her magic is powered with additional divine— Belkar: Ugh, it's not even fun to make fun of you anymore. Cut back to inside Durkon's head. Durkon: Hilgya?!? Wha's she doin' 'ere?!? "Durkon": Smashing perfectly useful vampire spawn, apparently. "Durkon": But what I think is far more interesting is who she is with. "Durkon": See anything unusual in that harness she's wearing? Flashback to the Dungeon of Dorukan Hilgya: Do you have a protection cantrip? Durkon: ...I dinnae prepare tha spell today. Cut back to Durkon's head. Durkon: I'm a...a pa? "Durkon": You were. The vampire spirit releases Durkon's restraints, which fling him back with a "SNAP!" "Durkon": Now you're just another in a long procession of dead father figures. "Durkon": But look on the bright side. You don't have to worry about that baby growing up without a daddy— "Durkon": —because they're not growing up at all. Durkon: Dinnae touch one hair on tha child's 'ead, ye vile monster! "Durkon": Uh, I meant because the world's about to end, but thanks for pointing out the bonus leverage I just got. D&D Context * The title is the name of one of the special attacks of vampires in D&D, how a vampire can make new lesser vampires from his prey. Trivia * The "Boss" of the vampires is Hel, so "What the Boss" in panel 1 is equivalent to saying "What the Hel". * Durkon himself did not know his father, who was killed before he was born, as relayed in the events of #991, "A Sergeant and a Sapper". * Belkar's attempt to insult Varasuvius in Panel 4 is based on Varasuvius's long standing belief that arcane magic is more powerful than clerical magic. Unfortunately for Belkar, Varasuvius has grown out of that biased opinion. External Links * 1120}} View the comic * 558132}} View the discussion thread